Quod me nutrit me destruit
I remember when Angelina Jolie was all the "It Girl" rage and her tattoo "Quod me nutrit me destruit" was covered extensively in every Vanity Fair and Vogue article. The direct translation: "What nourishes me destroys me". I was young and although I thought it was deep, I attached it to bad habits and addictions. I see it more than that, now.
It's a relationship that is beneficial and stable for the both of you yet has an undercurrent of toxicity you can't seem to shake. It's a job that fills your pockets and put food on the table but destroys your soul each day with it's redundant stagnancy. You feel it's stealing your dreams. It's the anxiety pill that keeps a panic attack away but also keeps you on prescription medicine one day longer. It's friendship you've had for so long that when you look in the light you can see how it's hurting you, maybe even holding you back but you keep with it because of all the time and heart you invested.
It's of course those bad habits too, those generational ones and the ones we took up just trying to survive trauma.
I understand the quote much deeper now.
It's the thorn and the rose.